Keeping It All Together
The most important thing in a relationship in today’s date is trust, space, and compromise and to keep your ego aside as time has changed over the years; relationships have also taken a new shape over time. For example: Earlier, women were very conservative and men were dominating but as time changed initially a movement called feminism started for women to come to equal terms with men but over the time it is being misused and misinterpreted as female domination over men.
When we get into a relationship, we accept every positive and every negative characteristic of an individual in the relationship. The initial 6 months also known as the honeymoon period are very rosy and blind you from the reality of the situation. Everything feels right and you feel on top of the world. As the relationship moves into the next stage you start to change or mold the person according to the way you want them to be. Rather than changing the person, we should accept him/her as they were and how they are and we should realise the person’s base will never change and might have an adverse effect and at one point of time it will bounce back in the same force or more (Every action has an equal or opposite reaction).
The past also plays a very important part in a relationship. For example : If your ex contacts you or you feel guilty about it so you want to be transparent about it to your partner and you disclose it. Initially the other person might understand but it could become a major issue later on. Again this varies from person to person as every person is an individual first which we forget over time. As deep down a feeling is there and you know that he or she was with somebody at one point of time but you ignore it or try to ignore it but ignoring could be a temporary solution but not a good solution in a long term perspective as by ignoring it, you are lingering on the issue and in a relationship, communication is the most important thing. By lingering on you would not communicate about it and which could have been talked over or sorted in the initial stage will now become a major issue between the couple.
There comes a point of time when you want to disclose your relationship to the world and your parents and that is the moment you feel that you have found the right partner in your life. Initially you will love being around your friends and talking all rosy about your partner but in time it will subside and your friends will distance themselves from you with the thought of giving you space and the couple will so get involved in each other that they won’t realise what is going on around them.
After it has been disclosed to the parents there can be two scenarios. The first could be that both parents are very open-minded and they accept their children’s decision keeping their ego aside that their child chose their own partner instead of them (the parents) making the final decision. If the parents or either one side of the parents disagree due to any reason (religion, money etc.) then it would be a very rough time for the couple as they will have problems in their workplace, home, between friends and most importantly between themselves. There would be fights, which would be minor or hold no meaning since it is all happening because they are frustrated overall.
After a certain point of time when they decide they want to get married and they are able to convince their families again, the happy and rosy time comes and Indian weddings especially are celebrated like a festival. But after all the celebration when they come back to their normal life, there comes a sudden responsibility and you can feel it on your shoulders. As months pass the couple realise that the courtship period was very different from actual marriage. As they have to run their own expenses, handle the household chores and also it’s no more a relationship limited to the couple, since now both the families are also involved.
Issues can also occur when one family is from an upper class and the other lower than them or vice versa. Initially it wouldn’t look like an issue to the couple but with time it will become a major issue. This issue only applies if there is a difference between class. With time the couple starts to feel bound to each other because so much is going on around them and there is very little quality time plus marriage is all about compromise and if you cannot bend and leave your ego aside, then there will be a point of time where your relationship might break. And this rule applies to both the boy and the girl.
Unfortunately the laws of today favour women, which are being misused, and with time men are becoming more emotional as women were at one point of time but now the places have been changed. Today women are where men were at one point of time. When you love somebody, you need to let go of them a little so that they realise your worth and come back to you. The moment they realise it, they will love you even more than they used to earlier. Your happiness also lies in the other person’s happiness but it gets overshadowed by our thoughts and we are unable to realise that there is a human nature for greed and selfishness. A man would always want more but there needs to be a limit and a boundary to everything.
